Home was a condominium on the fifteenth floor of a high-rise, a sort of filing cabinet for widows and young professionals. "I used to work in a funeral home to feel good about myself, just the fact that I was breathing." I'll keep testicular cancer, blood parasites, and organic brain dementia. Marla can have bone disease, brain parasites, and tuberculosis. This is the amazing miracle of death, and it should be so sweet if it weren't for, of, that one. Oh, the proof that one day you're thinking and hauling yourself around, and the next, you're cold fertilizer, worm-buffet. The agent, someone will say, has dried the lining of his brain, so now the brain pulls away from the inside of his skull, causing seizures.įor two years, Chloe's been crying in my arms during hug time, and now she's dead, dead in the ground, dead in an urn, mausoleum, columbarium. In Catch-Up Rap, someone will say how the agent has spread into his spinal column and now all of a sudden he'll have no control of his left hand. A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfection. One minute was enough, Tyler said, a person had to work hard for it, but a minute of perfection was worth the effort. The giant shadow hand was perfect for one minute, and for one perfect minute Tyler had sat in the palm of a perfection he'd created himself. Only now the fingers were Nosferatu-long and the thumb was too short, but he said how at exactly four-thirty the hand was perfect. What Tyler had created was the shadow of a giant hand. If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person? If X is less than the cost of a recall, then we don't recall. If X is greater than the cost of a recall, we recall the cars and no one gets hurt. This is what it will cost if we don't initiate a recall. You take the population of vehicles in the field (A) and multiply it by the probable rate of failure (B), then multiply the result by the average cost of an out-of-court settlement (C).Ī times B times C equals X. If a new car built by my company leaves Chicago traveling west at 60 miles per hour, and the rear differential locks up, and the car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside, does my company initiate a recall? Towering four stories tall over the popcorn auditorium, slippery red and terrible, and no one sees it. Divide a second into sixty different parts. This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.Ī single frame in a movie is on the screen for one-sixtieth of a second. Porno got into the theaters and these projectionists, some guys they built collections that got epics. Everybody wanted to make a naked slide of Angie Dickinson. The first full frontal movie anyone can remember had the naked actress Angie Dickinson.īy the time a print of this movie had shipped from the West Coast theaters to the East Coast theaters, the nude scene was gone. Tyler makes slides out of the best single frames of a movie. Watch the movie, and you'll see two dots at the end of the reel. You have to look for the white dots at the top, right-hand corner of the screen. The old theatres that run a movie with two projectors, a projectionist has to stand right there to change projectors at the exact second so that the audience never sees the break when one reel starts and one reel ran out. Babies don't sleep this well.Įvery evening I died, and every evening, I was born. I wasn't host to cancer or blood parasites I was the little warm center that the life of the world crowded around.Īnd I slept. Walking home after a support group, I felt more alive than I'd ever felt. If I didn't say anything, people in the group assumed the worst. In Mexico, where you buy your steroids, they call them "eggs." Chloe talked us into caves where we meet our power animal. Where would Jesus be if no one had written the gospels?Įyes closed, we imagined our pain as a ball of white healing light floating around our feet and rising to our knees, our waist, our chest. Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk Generation Terrorists
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